fun-neral

回憶總是美好的，尤其在廁所裡頭。

《The toilet moments with Yasmin Ahmad.》

By Jay.

Upon Yasmin Ahmad's death, a friend asked me: "Do you like your ex-boss?"

I didn't answer her directly whether it's a 'yes' or 'no'. Technically speaking, being an ECD, of course Yasmin was my boss, but I've never worked with her once. Her room was like at the east, my desk was at the west. I bet she didn't even know my name, for a small staff like me. My memories of her during my 3 and a half years in Leo Burnett, mostly in the lobby and very often, I bumped into her in the toilet.

She was very proud of her multilingual talent i guess, whenever she sees a chinese staff in the morning she would greet in mandarin, she said to me: "小姐早安." Which means: "Good morning missy." Then if there's a cleaner or tea lady nearby, she would greet them in BM and cracked some jokes which I don't understand due to my poor BM standard. She was very loud, talked and laughed loudly. Sometimes when we met each other in the corridor she would speak to me in Mandarin, her pronunciation was not perfect so I would tease her: "Eh your Mandarin sucks la..." She fought back: "Your BM sucks also what???" She likes to sing a line or two when she walks in the office. She just do whatever things in her own way, in a word, she didn't give a fuck lah.

Many times I saw her washing her feet in the toilet basin. I pushed open the toilet door, saw her leg lifted damn high and sinked into the basin. Then she would said something cheekily like: "Hehehe, solli ah.", or " Ballet lessons!", or she just look at me with a smile and continue singing her drama tune: "La~la~la".

She was a funny person in the toilet, the funniest was when I sat next to the cubicle when we both peed at the same time, (i think out of her boredom) she asked me in Cantonese: "Eh, nei o liu ah?" Means "Eh, u passing urine ah?" I would just layan her and said: "Yalah..." Many times she asked the same question so one day I got fed up I said: "O si ah!" (means shitting ah!) Her response was: "Yer!" Hahahaha...

Not only talking rubbish in the toilet, when she heard a loud running water in next cubicle, she would ask: "Eh mandi ke?"

When she smelled something 'funny", she asked: "Eh baru makan petai ke?"

All sorts of embarrassing but funny questions would make the toilet break into laughters.

Honestly, I was never her fan, of course her works is splendid but put asides all her highly accredited works and fame, I only know Yasmin Ahmad as a friendly, down to earth and funny person, a real person you see everyday, in a plain aunty-like baju kurung, even she is the damn famous Yasmin Ahmad.

So, go back to my friend's question: "Do you like your ex-boss?"

Now I think I do.

Below are the few comments about the article:

Pauline Feliciano Warneck
I like it when she lifts up her leg for washing and says 'Kang kang'. hahahaha!

Li San Choong
Our first conversation was really unexpected, about losing one's virginity. Made quite the impression!

SookLeng Leong
I can so relate to her washing feet on the basin and her brushing teeth after lunch! Well said Jay.

Jasmin Khallid
yes! that's Yasmin, carrying up her feet into the sink...and I asked her why not do it in the bathroom which has a tap??? Then she would say.... senang!

Angie Cheah
haha....i used to try avoiding bumping into her inside the toilet coz everytime she saw me, she will asked "Ni how?" ( How are you?) and i always replied "how" (good) to which she ALWAYS correct me that I should reply "Ni How"!!! Well, i dunno who's right but I wish i can still reply 'Ni how' to her.....and still get irritated when she comment on my big butt.....thanks J, for sharing....

Kristin Chong
i also miss the toilet moment w her.. she always smile at me and also greet me in mandarin! i normally reply in BM/ Eng. She will asked me back, why dont reply in Mandarin? teach me mah ><>

Theresa Arthur
Nice story Jay. I also encountered a couple of incidents with Yasmin in the toilet but the most hillarious was when she was once in the next cubicle from mine and she ran out of toilet paper and asked me to pass her some from under the door. I didnt know how much she'd need so i pulled quite a bit & handed it to her la. Then she goes "Ayiooo ah moi! You think my cibai that big meh…you gimme so much tissue!!!’ I tell you…the way she said it was so funny, I just burst out laughing!!! She's such a joker laa.

PS:

If I were Theresa, I would say: Yup, ur cibai is not that big but ur hole is too deep !